Doddering Ahead of the Crowd--Way Out Front

This could also be titled "A view of the Labyrinth from the Garden."

Facebook has brought a Truth to light! My adult daughter recently listed me as a friend on Facebook. I gladly accepted. Her daughter informed her that it's generally frowned upon to have parents as "friends" on Facebook. When I told another friend that, he admitted that he has a Facebook page, but his daughter won't accept him as a friend because she thinks he's weird.

This calls for action, so I urge adults to unite! I have implemented my own action plan.

I do everything I can to be part of the NOW generation: I even have those little bud headphones dangling from my ears as though my Ipod is on all the time. Generally, I don't know where it is, but I wear the headphones anyway as a badge of belonging. My jeans are as low as I can get them (which isn't very), my sandals are unbuckled, I'm designing several hip tattoos and gaining a lot of weight so I'll have more room for them. Actually, I could say that the more weight I gain, the more I look part of a certain segment of the youthful population. I also play my car stereo as loud as possible with the windows wide open, even when it's raining. Boy you should see the envious looks of the teens when they hear that Glenn Miller! As far as hip currency goes, I'm leaving the younger age far behind. I've got a cabinet full of colors for my hair (black, brown, reddish--all the latest Mr. Clairol stuff), a closet full of red and green tennis shoes, t-shirts with aggressively offensive logos, my hair is in various kinds of disarray (what there is of it). What more do I have to do??? It's cruel, I tell you, cruel, of the young to be so callous toward their elders. The age wars are replacing the culture wars.

Let's get our own planet.